I heard that my son, Dave Jr... You met Dave Jr, right?
This is great news. I was notified Sunday that Dave Jr...
... will be tried as a juvenile for grand theft auto.
Congratulations.
911. 911.
Mommy.
Mom?
I'm really thirsty, Mommy.
OK.
OK. OK, sweetie.
- Good night. - Wait. There's one more sip left.
- Half a sip. You don't need it. Good night. - I do need it. I do need it, Mommy.
OK. Now good night for real, OK?
- Good night, Mom. - Night-night.
I'm real excited about the field trip tomorrow.
- I love big boats. - That's good.
- The Circle Line is big, right? - Yeah.
Good.
- Mom? - Shh.
Sleepy time now.
Is Daddy coming to my soccer game tomorrow?
He's gonna try, Sammy.
Honey, do you remember when I explained to you that Daddy has a...
...has a different schedule to other daddies? - Yeah.
Well, musicians don't always know exactly when they're gonna get a chance to play.
So... there's a chance he might not come tomorrow.
But he's gonna try.
Yeah. He's gonna try.
I love you a million, billion, zillion.
Do you love him?
Huh, Mommy?
I will always love your daddy because he gave me you.
Now go to sleep.
I can't sleep, Mom.
I had a bad dream.
In just two minutes you already fell asleep and had a bad dream?
Ow!
Sweetie... Oh, sh...
I don't even think I knew her. She's lyin'. I'd divorce her.
- Hi, Jack. - Dad!
- Hi, Daddy! - Hey! You maggot, you! Come here.
Watch your step.
- Maggie, be careful. - It's all right. She does it all the time.
I can't believe your plumbing's not fixed yet.
- So what's up, Kristen? - Me and Greg got married last Saturday.
- Oh, yeah. How's Greg? - He's waiting in the car.
Waiting with an ulcer, hoping you'll say yes. I need you to watch Maggie for me.
OK. I can do that till about six. Would that help?
- Well... - For the whole week, Daddy.
We were going on our honeymoon today.
But the nanny's gotta go watch her mother have a benign tumor removed in Ohio.
Greg's parents are too old. Mine are too crazy. Yours are dead. So that leaves you.
- Please, Jack, do this. Please! - I would love to but I'm working on a story.
- You're always working on a story. - Yeah. It's what I do.
The same old one about a good-time father to whom responsibility is a dirty word.
Here's a hint. For an attempted manipulation, like the one in progress, I'd have tried flattery.
Why am I always the grown-up?
Because at the start of the relationship, when we chose sides, you chose grown-up first.
- This is how you want it. - No. What I want...
...is just once for you to make a sacrifice in your career for your daughter.
Come here, my little noodle. My little creature.
Go pee. And wash your hands and face and brush your teeth.
We're in a hurry cos we have to take your friend Maggie to school.
- We can't be late because of your field trip. - I hate Maggie. She thinks she's so funny.
- Maggie? - Here's Maggie's doctor's number...
...and the number of a baby-sitter who can help tomorrow.
She's got a walk-on part today. One last thing. This is really important.
My neighbor was supposed to take Maggie to school for me this morning.
She lives in my building... Jack. Jack?
- Apartment 501. This is her number. - OK.
- Her name is Melanie Parker. - Melanie Parker.
If you want her to take Maggie to school for you...
If you want her to take Maggie to school, bring Maggie to her house before eight.
If not, call Mel and let her know that you don't need her to take Maggie. Jack? OK?
I'm gonna miss my plane.
- Maybe I should cancel my honeymoon. - Don't cancel it.
- Are you sure? - Yeah. Don't worry. Say hi to Greg.
- Bye, baby! - Bye!
Bye, baby.
Bye, baby. Oh! Baby, oh! Oh! Oh!
Come on, Mom.
OK. Press two, honey.
Where are they?
Want some more? Don't burn your hands. We're havin' a Manhattan camp-out.
Why don't you just bang on the door?
We can't bang on the door of honeymooners.
- What time does your school start? - I don't know.
It probably starts around nine. We're gonna get there a few minutes early just to be safe.
- What street's your school on? - I don't know.
We're in trouble.
- I'm gonna miss the boat trip, aren't I? - It won't go on time. We'll make it. I promise.
Let's run, just in case.
What's it say?
"The whole school is on the Circle Line. Sorry we missed you. "
That's a big "uh-oh", right?
Mom?
You must be Kristen's ex-husband.
- Hi, Sammy. - Hi, Maggie.
And you must be... uh...
OK. Well, you're not Sheila, the actress/baby-sitter...
...or Maggie's pediatrician, Dr Feldman.
Oh, there you go. "Don't forget to call Melanie Parker. " Underlined three times.
We're not quite together yet. Sorry. What do you mean, I must be Kristen's ex-husband?
That's her daughter, and this is a totally ex-husband thing to do.
You'd know because that's a totally ex-wife remark.
You know, I have a day. Taxi!
Taxi!
Get those fish. Let's go. Come on.
Wait, wait, wait! You forgot your fish!
Pier 56, please, as fast as you can.
- I don't wanna sit next to him, Daddy. - I don't wanna sit next to her, Mommy.
Come on. Over the top.
Would you please just take those? Thank you.
I don't know why you have an attitude. It's your fault they'll probably miss the field trip.
- Not Central Park West. Broadway's faster. - My attitude is derived from your attitude.
- Derived? You must be a writer. - Let me guess. Your ex-husband is a writer.
No. My ex-husband is a musician.
I don't need to see that. I already have an opinion of you.
And I of you.
Liza! Liza, thank God you're home.
- I need a huge favor. - Melanie? Is that you? You sound awful.
Where are you? Don't answer. I can't talk. I'm on the other line organizing a fun run.
No, wait. Don't hang up. I really need you to...
Uh... Bye, honey.
- Hello? Hello! - Yeah, I'm here.
- What's the matter? - There's this guy...
...who obviously thinks a minor amount of charm replaces integrity and commitment...
...has not only ruined my day but Sammy's as well. He's completely missed his field trip.
- My mom hates your dad. - So? My dad hates your mom.
- So? - So?
Hey, it's me. I just wanna know if you're wearin' panties.
- What color are they? - Huh?
Lew, I need this photo approved now.
If I ever act interested in another man again, would you please shoot me?
- No, don't take 57th across! - Pink?
- Pink? Sure. - When is Jack getting in?
No, I will not leave Sammy at the Ninth Street drop-in centre, Liza. He hates it there.
You're my sister. How can you not watch him?
I have to meet my boss in 15 minutes.
Then I have this presentation, which could add up to a huge promotion for me.
And you have no job, a nanny, a cook and a housekeeper.
The nanny is taking Courtney to Mommy and Me.
Angela is cooking all day for our dinner party tonight. Berta is cleaning.
- And I'm working at the school this morning. - What about later?
Later I'm getting dressed for our dinner party tonight.
- Why don't you get a nanny? - Because I can't afford a nanny, Liza.
You're with a girl, aren't ya? You dog, you!
A real superwoman. Can't open her door, won't shut her mouth.
Excuse me. Are you talking about me?
The first lady. We're thinking about doing a piece on her.
You're insulted because I said I had a presentation and you don't work.
I do work, Melanie. I am the CEO of this household.
I'm sorry I can't help you out. But you're perfect. You'll figure it out.
OK. OK. Bye.
OK, OK. Stay with me. There are cars.
Oh, thank God! It's still here!
- This is it. - That's not it. There's nobody in there!
- Maybe they're upstairs. - Upstairs
Sammy, wait for me.
- I got it. - No, I'm fine.
OK. Excuse me.
Go, go! Watch your step.
- It was the first boat. I'm telling you. - There wasn't anybody on the first boat!
- Oh, no! - It's OK. We can still make it. Goddammit!
Hey!
Hey, boat! Hey!
Hey!
Hey, come here! Come back! I got kids over here!
Come back! Hey!
I got kids here!
Hah...
Goddammit!
Oh, who wants to go on a boat in the rain anyway?
I know. You did.
All right. Listen. Uh... Melanie.
I feel awful about this. I'm gonna make it up to you. You too, kiddo.
All right?
OK.
Here's an idea. I watch the kids right now while you do your presentation.
I heard you say you had one in 15 minutes.
And you watch her for me later today while I do the column. It'll only take an hour or so.
Hi! Maggie Taylor calling.
I have an urgent message for stupid Sammy Parker.
I'm not stupid. You're stupid.
I don't think so. I only let incredibly responsible people watch my son.
- I'm incredibly responsible. - Hah!
- I'm hungry, Daddy. - Want a Tic Tac?
- No. - That's all I got.
Here, baby.
- What's that? - A muffin. Thank you, Melanie.
You're welcome, sweetheart.
- You were saying? - Uh...
I was saying that maybe we could just help each other out today.
Well...
Hey!
- Looks like you missed the boat. - I guess we did.
I really don't need your help, but if I did...
...you would be the very last person I would turn to.
These are the class fish. They were supposed to be back in the classroom at 8.30.
Now they are spending the day with you.
God, I am going to be so late. I have such a day.
- A bus! - But, Mom...
- Those aren't toys, honey. - Mom, that's not your phone. Mom!
Don't be like that when you grow up.
She just drops off the... bag of cookies... and tells me to keep 'em for a week.
How do you feel about the cookies, Jack?
Love the cookies. Have a big problem with, uh... the...
- Cookie-maker? - That's right.
The cookie-maker thinks that all I am interested in...
...or all that I'm capable of handling with respect to the cookie in question...
...is, uh, the...
- The frosting? - Exactly. Exactly.
Just because the frosting is my specialty doesn't mean that I can't do more.
I have many layers to me. And they're not all vanilla, either.
I have chocolate in me. I have a deep, dark chocolate...
I'm still hungry, Daddy.
- Darling, let Doc Martin and I finish. - But what about the cookies?
Just a little while. OK?
It's... I, um...
I'm sick of angry, resentful...
...fish...
...who think that you owe them...
...but who won't trust you for a second to do anything for 'em.
- There are other fish in the sea. - Yes, I know.
It's just... I wish I could find a fish who wasn't afraid of my dark-chocolate layer.
And she'd have to love my cookie too.
You know, I think that my ex... cookie-maker has turned me off to fish entirely.
I met a real piece of work this morning.
Tell me about her, Jack.
This fish was a fox. She had her own cookie too.
But what a female dog. She shoved her fish in my face...
In front of the cookie?
What's she doing with another fish anyway? Is she AC/DC?
- What are you talkin' about? - Fish... with other fish, in front of cookies.
Fish.
Fish fish.
Oh. I see.
- After you. - No, after you.
- I insist. - I insist more.
You can't make any noise in the office. I have a really important meeting. OK?
Oh!
- Don't touch that. - It's empty.
Sammy, I'm really late and I don't need you spilling anything right now.
- Please don't do that now. - Why not?
Because I want you to practice being super-quiet.
OK. Now stay next to me. Here's your dinosaur.
- You're kidding. - Please don't give me a hard time, Evelyn.
- I'm also 20 minutes late. - 25 minutes late.
Mr. Leland, as you might expect, is displeased.
- What are those? - The Haskell blueprints.
- Rob Wilding got them in ahead of schedule. - He did?
Why would you bring a child here?
Remember when Sally brought her kid here with the poison sumach?
Mr. Leland just smelled the calamine lotion and had to leave.
He does not have poison anything. He's not even sick. He just missed his field trip.
- I don't think so. - Five minutes. Please?
And I would be doing this because...?
Of our sense of solidarity.
We're both women, and this is a tough office and a tough world...
- Five minutes. - Thank you.
Evelyn, has Miss Parker come in yet?
- Miss Parker, you're late. - Yes, I know. I'm sorry, sir.
- You're late. - Let me go get the model. I'll be right in.
Sammy!
Oh my God.
Let me look at it.
Oh my God.
Evelyn, would you ask Miss Parker to come in, please?
No. Shh, shh, shh.
She'll be right in.
Put this in the back room for me, please.
Go, go, go.
You! Get behind the desk and stay there!
I'm sorry, sir. I forgot. The model is still in the model shop downtown.
I'm heading there right now to...
I went by there this morning to pick it up for this meeting, but the shop was locked.
But I promise you, you are going to love the model, Mr. Leland, sir...
...and today at two the people from Yates and Yates are going to love it too.
- I assume you're ready. - Of course.
There's something I'd like to show you. Evelyn, bring in the Haskell blueprint.
Oh!
Oh! What an adorable little boy!
Also, check if my amoxicillin prescription still has refills available.
- Mommy... - That's a good idea. Let's go find your mom.
I'm very sorry, sir, but someone spilled my coffee all over the Haskell blueprints.
Oh my God.
Do you know that every Thanksgiving I catch strep throat?
Healthy children can give you strep throat from other kids...
...without your even going near them.
My sister sets up a kids' table in the next room, and I still get strep throat.
We're going to go find his mother, sir.
She must work in the law offices across the hall.
I'm sure she does.
Excuse me.
- Hello? - You asshole!
- What? - Get over here.
The mayor's called a press conference at five o'clock.
While you were talkin' about pink panties, your story was turning to shit!
You know, Miss Parker...
...I don't need to remind you what the Yates account would be worth to this firm.
- And, by extension, to you. - No, sir.
Do you know what I think of when I look at him?
- No. - A carrier monkey.
He's not a carrier monkey, sir. He looks like a healthy little...
I'll go find his mother.
Oh my God. What am I gonna do?
I'm really sorry, Mommy.
It's OK, sweetie. It's really not your fault.
It's Maggie's daddy's fault.
Slow down. Ow, ow, ow.
- This isn't a very good breakfast, Daddy. - That's an advantage of being an adult.
You get to act like a kid any time you feel like it.
Mommy wouldn't let me eat this breakfast.
You see what I mean?
- Hello. - Who's that?
- Who's this? - Who's this?
What are you doing with my daughter's phone?
Damn. We must've switched. I'm Jack Taylor. Our kids are in school together.
- "You Don't Know Jack" Taylor? - That's me.
Oh my God! You're so adorable.
- I love your column. - Oh, thanks.
- Are you married? - I'm divorced, um... What's your name?
- Rita. - Rita.
Listen, Jack. I've got to go get exfoliated.
- Now, Melanie has your phone, right? - That's right.
- So what is that number? - Pennsylvania 3317.
- Pennsylvania. So cute. 3317. - My dad used to...
Darling, if you speak with her before I do, would you do me a favor?
Her sister phoned me to see if I would baby-sit Sammy later on.
But I'm in the middle of my Spring Spa Day at Elizabeth Arden. I can't cancel now.
But tell her that otherwise I would have been happy to baby-sit.
No matter what she thinks...
...I have forgotten all about Sammy putting my wedding ring up his nose.
- I'll tell her, Rita. - You're adorable.
- Goodbye. - Goodbye.
- Hello? - It's Jack Taylor.
- How did you get this number? - You're holding my phone.
- This is so typical of you. - Let's skip the hostilities and do messages.
- Fine. - Your mother's at a spa day so can't baby-sit.
It's not because she's upset about Sammy sticking her ring up her nose.
His nose. Thank you. You have a press conference at five. Goodbye.
Maybe we ought to arrange to switch our phones back.
Tomorrow when we drop the kids off at school. On time?
- Fine. - Fine.
Maggie, when you grow up and you are incredibly beautiful and intelligent...
...and possess a certain sweetness...
...that's like a distant promise to the brave and to the worthy...
...can you please not beat to a pulp every miserable bastard just because you can?
Can you just not do that?
- OK, Daddy. - All right.
- Let me help you. - It's OK. I got it, I got it.
- OK, sweetie. Come on. - Stupid American woman.
That guy called you stupid.
I am stupid sometimes, honey. But I'd rather be stupid than sorry.
- How bad is it? - Well, it's modular.
So it's conceivable I could lift out the damaged portion...
...and replace it from the mock-up.
- So I wouldn't have to start from scratch. - Vincent, that's brilliant!
Sammy, honey. You cannot run around here. OK?
- It won't be perfect. - I'm thirsty, Mommy.
It's OK.
I know you, Mel. You won't be happy with less than perfect.
- Today I will. - I can't get the straw apart, Mommy.
I don't even wanna think about what'll happen if I don't have that model by two.
- All right, then. I'll give it a try. - Thanks.
Now, while I'm doing my column...
...you need to think of at least 600 fun things to do, cos the rest of the day is yours.
I already know, Daddy. I wanna go to the zoo and on a horse-and-carriage ride...
...and to the carousel and to the Natural Museum of History and to The Cats...
It's Cats, not The Cats.
- Hi, Jack. - Hey.
Hi, Jack. I didn't know you had a daughter.
- Yeah, this is Maggie. - She's so cute.
- She looks just like you. - She'll grow out of it.
- Why are all the girls talking to you like that? - Like what?
"Hi, Jack. "
- Hi, Jack. - Hey, Celia.
See what she just did?
You know, I'm doing a story on men like you.
- Oh, yeah? What's the hook? - Just an expression my mother used to use.
"Love your guy like a little boy and he'll grow into a man. "
Jack! Get in here!
Fish! You're not gonna believe the morning that I have had already.
You look cranky. You back on that diet?
- Honey, remember Lew? - We haven't seen each other in a long time.
I am cranky, Jack, and I ate a very good breakfast this morning.
- We're in big trouble on your garbage story. - No, we're not.
- Come here, honey. - It's OK. Go ahead.
This is Lois Lane. She lives here in the newsroom.
Wow!
Wanna pet her, sweetheart? Go ahead. She won't bite.
- You got a raging scoop disease, my friend. - Which is what you love about me.
Stay here and play with the kitty, honey, while me and your daddy go have a talk.
That's a girl.
- Let's go. - Now, would you rather that I wasn't first?
- I'd rather you were right. - I am right.
OK. Who told you that the mayor's re-election campaign took contributions from the Mob?
- Manny Feldstein. - Manny Feldstein told you, on the record...
..."Newark trucking company Grace and Marra, a Mob front...
...made an illegal contribution to the mayor's campaign. "
- That's right. On the record. - In exchange for the city sanitation contract.
- On the record. - Awarded without bidding.
To Grace and Marra. That's right. On the record.
Manny Feldstein's gonna say he never talked to you!
- What? Hey. What? - At the mayor's press conference today...
- Hi, Jack. ... Feldstein's gonna say you made it all up.
- You didn't, did you? - Of course not.
Manny told me he saw the campaign accounts.
$250,000 was deposited in unnumbered accounts.
Freddy, hold page three. We may have to print a retraction.
- Of what? - You're gonna give me an ulcer.
- I can feel it. Couldn't you get two sources? - Remember the Cardinal O'Brien story?
- We almost got fired! - I almost got the Pulitzer prize.
It's real simple, Jack. Management doesn't wanna clean up after you any more. Not now!
- I'm a good reporter, Lew. - No. You are a great reporter.
But sometimes you get too excited and get me too excited.
And now I've given you enough rope to hang us both.
And, Jack, nobody almost gets a Pulitzer prize.
- They won't fire me. My picture's on buses. - I said that.
Then they asked me to lunch with Frank Burroughs.
- Dad? - Frank Burroughs?
- "Frankly Speaking" is a popular column. - He's a pompous, arrogant, humorless ass!
Who's won the Pulitzer prize.
I'm not gonna lose my job. I got alimony and shrink bills, old college loans to repay.
- Daddy... - One second.
I have a plumbing situation.
Now, Manny has been my guy all year long.
One second, darling.
I played bridge with his mother. I took his niece to Cirque du Soleil.
Just one second. I had to sit through him playing Tevye in dinner theatre, Lew!
- Dinner theatre! - Jack!
I gave you this column, and I love you like a son. But I can't cover for you any more.
You've got six hours to that press conference and no other leads.
Get Feldstein back on the record or find another source to confirm this thing.
Otherwise we're printing a retraction. And I guarantee you, Jack, it'll be your last.
That's fine. If you need me, I'm at a different number today.
- Where are you goin'? - To find Manny.
- Take care of yourself, kid. - I will.
Hi, Jack. Listen. Um... I really wanted to say something to you, Jack.
I've noticed that you haven't been dating for quite a while.
- Right. - Actually, we've all noticed.
Hey, there we go. Hi.
I know that you're sensitive...
...but frightened.
I'm gentle...
...but brutal.
Think about it. Think about me, Jack.
I will.
OK.
Brutal.
Marla? Have you seen my daughter? Have you seen Maggie?
- Uh... No, I haven't. - Excuse me, please.
Have you seen my daughter? No?
Maggie? Ah, damn it!
Hey, Jack.
Hi, Daddy.
"Hi, Daddy"? Do you do this with your mother, this wandering-off thing?
- Yeah. - Cos it's not a good thing to do.
Now I've gotta go talk to a guy downtown.
It's kind of a tricky thing and I only have one shot at it, so...
- I can't come? - That's right. What am I gonna do with you?
This is incredibly difficult for me, but you are the absolute last person I can think of to ask.
I'm really in a bind. I could lose my job.
I know you're recording but... Can you hold on a minute?
I know you're recording but it would just be for an hour.
From two to three.
Come on, Eddie. You're his father.
Fine. Never mind. I'll think of something.
Are you at least coming to his soccer game?
Six. It would mean a lot to him.
- Argh! Mel! - Sammy!
Sammy, get off of that.
Time out!
What is the matter with you? You almost broke it again!
Why can't you play quietly for five minutes? Don't you realize how important this is?
- I'm taking you to the drop-in centre. - I don't wanna go there.
- Too bad. - Those kids'll beat me up.
- They won't. - They will.
Well, you're just gonna have to be brave. Vincent, I'll be back in an hour for the model!
When the little hand gets between 4 and 5, that's 4.30.
- I'm sorry. - You're not being punished. I'll be back.
- We can go to your soccer game. - That's too long.
Sweetheart, I set the alarm and I'll be here for you by the time it goes off. I promise.
- But I don't wanna go in there. - But it'll be fun!
Look! It's Superhero Day!
Hey! Spiderman!
He can't come in here. He's not a superhero!
Oh, yeah? You guys sure about that?
- He doesn't look like one. - He looks like a poo-poo crybaby.
When the big hand gets to, uh... there...
...and the little hand gets to, uh... there...
...then... - You'll be back.
Wait a minute.
Mm mm mm mm.
Now you're wearin' Daddy's watch.
- But I don't have a costume. - A costume? Uh...
OK. How about, um...
...Bessie the choreographer? Five, six, seven, eight!
Moo! Moo... I don't have...
You know, I don't have a costume, darling.
Oh.
Hey.
Hey, Maggie! Look, honey! Maggie!
- Hi, Sammy. - Hi, Maggie.
- You said you weren't gonna bring him here. - Well, I... got desperate.
Me too.
So, looks like we need two superheroes - and fast.
Where do you get a bag like that?
If those mean boys give you any more trouble, first go to the teacher.
If she doesn't help, call me on the mobile. And if you can't reach me, call 911.
Kick the mean boys in the shins.
- Bye! - Bye!
- Thanks for doin' that. - Sure. It's hard enough being a kid.
- It is excellent. - And you would know.
- What's that? - Nothing.
- Know what my mother told me? - Gee, no.
"Love your guy like a little boy and he'll grow into a man. "
- She knew you were gay? - I'm not gay.
- Then why the advice about loving guys? - She hoped I'd meet a woman like that.
I can't stand those people who blame their worst traits on everyone but themselves.
It's so '90s.
What are you talkin' about?
You're blaming your Peter Pan complex on your mother.
- Do you have any friends? - I don't have time.
That's because of your Captain Hook complex.
- My what? - Captain Hook complex.
- There's no such thing. - Yes, there is. And you have it.
- Here's your phone back. - Here's yours.
Thank you!
Hey! Feldstein!
- Hey! - I can't meet with you right now, Jack.
Hey, Manny!
Manny!
- Hey, Manny. - Please don't hit me.
- I won't. What's goin' on? - I've been having thoughts.
- We already had our thoughts. - Please don't yell.
You were the one who said to me this garbage thing stinks.
I waited for a month for you to get comfortable with this.
We print the story. It runs on the front page.
And now you tell me you are having thoughts? What is the matter with you?
I've been having trouble with my medication. You get the dose wrong, you get grandiose.
We talked about takin' down the mayor and the Mob together. That's crazy.
- No, it's not. - It is!
Now that I'm a little better regulated, I realize they will kill me!
Hey, listen to me.
Don't do this to me. All right? Look at me. Hey.
I'm the one who started your standing ovation for "If I Were a Rich Man", right?
- I can't do it. - You can do it. You're my guy.
I got a wife and a family. I'm their guy too. You're hurting my neck.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. All right.
I'm sorry, Jack.
- All right. Gimme a name. - I can't think of any names.
- Whose name is on the account? - I don't know. I only saw numbers.
- Who set up the account? - I don't know.
- Who set up the account, Manny? - Eddie McCoy, maybe?
Maybe Eddie McCoy? How...
You know what? I'm gonna figure it out myself. OK, Manny? Thank you.
- Hello? - Mommy.
- What happened? - I don't wanna stay here any more.
And neither does Maggie.
- Sweetie, you have to, just for a little while... - No.
What happened?
Spiderman kicked me and She-Ra took Maggie's snack.
Let me talk to the teacher.
She's outside talking to the Hulk about not using the F-word.
Sammy, you'll just have to be brave and...
- What's LSD? - LSD?
Spiderman was talking to Maggie about LSD that he got from his brother.
Don't move. Stay right where you are. You will both be picked up in ten minutes.
No. Manny's a dead end.
- You get anything? - McCoy probably set up the account.
As campaign manager, he wouldn't implicate himself.
- City comptroller? - He'll never talk.
- How about the sanitation commissioner? - Lieberman?
Metro!
- How do we get ahold of Lieberman? - He's in Barbados.
- The sanitation commissioner in Barbados?
- During a garbage scandal. - Maybe the mayor wanted him outta town.
- Metro! - What?
- What's Lieberman doin' in Barbados? - He's there with his new girlfriend.
- Which leaves his very angry wife.
- Bingo. - I'm in the lobby. I'll be right up.
- Yeah? - Jack, it's Melanie Parker.
We have a problem with our kids. They're OK but they have to be picked up right now.
- Can you do it? - Me? Now?
I'd definitely jeopardize my career and my life if I picked them up now.
But your press conference isn't until five. My presentation is at two.
I gotta see Elaine Lieberman for some information.
- Can't you phone? - Yeah...
- Great! - Isn't there anybody else you can call?
- I wouldn't be asking you if there were. - Yeah.
I could watch them both from three o'clock until your press conference ends...
...if you'll watch them both from now until three.
- You're asking me for help. - It would appear that way.
I'll agree if you say "Please be my knight in shining armor. "
Jack, don't be a shithead. Go rescue our kids.
This is hard for you, isn't it?
Are you agreeing or not?
You know, I got a day too.
Sorry. I'll meet you and the kids in my office lobby at Rockefeller Center at 3.15.
- Fine. - Fine.
Marla, tell Celia to get Elaine Lieberman's home number and call me on my cell phone.
No, uh...
What?
I forgot to tell you. Sammy is allergic to shellfish and dander.
He's not allowed to watch commercial TV. He has to hold your hand crossing the street.
Also, if you go to the playground, check the sandbox first.
You never know what people throw in there. Also, uh...
OK. Bye.
Fine.
Hello.
- Hi. It's me. - Me who?
- Do you have the kids? - What kids?
You didn't pick up the kids?
Oh, you mean those kids.
- I was just calling... - To check up on me cos you don't trust me.
Sammy, no! Put the gun down.
You only asked me to watch Sammy out of sheer desperation.
Part of you would feel safer with him at the Ninth Street drop-in centre with LSD. True?
No, that is not true. I only wanted to warn you that Sammy can get into trouble faster...
...than you can make most women smile.
Are you flirting with me?
- Would you please just pay attention to him? - I won't let him out of my sight.
Sammy! Hey! Guns aren't toys.
- It's not loaded. - Goodbye!
Sammy, how long have your mom and dad been divorced?
I don't know. It doesn't matter really cos she said she'll always love him.
- Yeah? Hey, what's that? - A marble.
- You get to see your dad a lot? - Yeah, pretty much, usually.
He has a different schedule than other daddies. He's a drummer.
But his favorite thing to do is watch me play soccer. He's probably coming today.
He's taking me fishing this whole summer. Just us. And maybe Mom will come too.
- Your dad's a drummer, huh? - Yep.
- Sounds like a great guy. - He is.
- Kurt, Jake, you remember Melanie Parker. - Nice to see you. Nice to see you.
Well... voilà.
I love this. This is... What is that?
- A vaulted... - Vaulted pediment. Vaulted pediment.
- I love that. - Yeah?
- But I need to see this with cars. - You don't, Dad. Just use your imagination.
My imagination? I have to see it with the cars.
Cars.
See?
- She's quite a little discovery. - Yes, she is.
Why don't you join us for drinks this evening?
Let's say 5.30, at the 21.
I... Oh. I don't know if I can.
We'll talk about this project. From what I've seen, you could bring a great deal to this.
- I'll be there. - Terrific. That's great.
Hi. This is Jack Taylor. I'm looking for Elaine Lieberman.
- You're trying to be like my dad. - Am not.
- Daddy, who's that man on the bus? - One second, darling. What?
- Who's that man? - It says "Frankly Speaking".
Very important. Elaine Lieberman.
Here we go. Hold hands.
Rosa... Rosa... Could you just try to speak English?
- OK. - OK.
- Hello? - Hello.
Right, OK. Uh... I need...
¿Dónde está... la señora Lieberman?
- I need... pronto... her. - La señora no está en la casa ahora.
Salió esta mañana y no sé dónde está.
- OK... OK... - OK? OK. Bye-bye.
No, no. Uh...
- Hola. La casa de la señora Lieberman. - Rosa, listen.
- I need to find Mrs. Lieberman. - OK.
OK. If I don't find her, I could lose my job.
If you don't understand, say "OK".
- OK. - OK.
OK. Bye-bye. Gracias. Bye-bye.
Gimme that marble! It's my dad's! Give it! It's my dad's marble.
Uh, no. Rosa?
Uh, no, Rosa...
No, no, don't hang up.
- Do you speak Spanish? - What do you need?
OK, great. Her name is Rosa López. Her boss is Elaine Lieberman.
I need to know where she is. I'm Jack Taylor. I'm a reporter.
- ¿Señora López? Le habla Jesús Romero... - Elaine's her boss.
- Say Elaine wants to speak to me very badly. - No policía, sino guardia de seguridad.
- Aquí hay un señor que se llama Jack Kelly. - Jack Taylor.
Jack Taylor. Dice que es reportero...
- So? - So give it!
- Give it! - No.
Hey, guys. Guys! What are you doin'?
- Guys, what are you doin'? - Mr. Kelly? Mr. Kelly.
Señora López said Mrs. Lieberman is at the Elizabeth Arden salon for her Spring Spa Day.
- Excellent. - Dad!
What? You guys are being...
Oh, man.
- You're so stupid. - Am not.
Are so. You ruined my dad's marble. He's not gonna want it with your snot all over it.
Yes, I will. I'll just wash it off.
You'll be fine. The doctor's just gonna pop it right out.
- How come you couldn't do it? - It's a little nose, big marble.
But the doctor has this clamp thing that's gonna come up and just yank it right out.
And you are gonna be fine. You just gotta not worry about it and not think about it.
You gotta think about something else. You gotta think about...
Hello, Sammy.
- Hello? - Hi, sexy. I miss you.
Look, whoever you are, this isn't Jack's phone any more.
- Who are you? - Who are you?
- No. Who are you? - This is Celia.
I'm a friend of Jack's. And who's this?
- Absolutely nobody. - Whatever.
Could you tell him Kristen called from the Bahamas to let him know her number there?
And this is very important. Elaine Lieberman will only be at Elizabeth Arden's until 3.30.
So if you could pass on those messages, we'd both appreciate it.
Your mom will kill me if I don't have you guys in the lobby by 3.15 on the dot.
- She won't kill you. She's not like that really. - She isn't?
No. She just acts tough and mean cos she'd rather be safe than sorry.
- What does that mean? - She says it when men try to open her door.
Yeah?
Come on! Excuse us!
Go, go, go, go, go!